The Kernel System

Many of you have commented that I need some sort of star system, a quick and easy way to rank exactly how good/bad I think the films are. I had many ideas, but the winning one came from Ms. Julia K. Kraus of Durham, NC. I proudly present… The Kernel System. The explanation is inside—take a look.

4 Kernels: Brilliance. A must see film. Stop what you’re doing and go check it out.

3.5 Kernels: Just a hair shy of extraordinary. Absolutely worth admission.

3 Kernels: A very good film. It doesn’t quite transcend into greatness, but it gets a solid thumbs up.

2.5 Kernels: A decent movie that will please those who are interested, but it won’t convert the skeptic.

2 Kernels: While it has good elements, overall it’s a disappointing effort. You should probably wait for the DVD.

1.5 Kernels: Some quality performances or a few successful sequences keep this movie from being a complete waste of time.

1 Kernel: Poorly made, poorly executed, poorly acted—whatever the reason, the film is poor, period.

Half a Kernel: It’s taken the next step past poor and has moved beyond. It’s boring, it’s appalling, and it sucks.

Unpopped: One of the worst films I’ve ever seen. In no way should professionals have made a film so bad.


2 Responses to “The Kernel System”

  1. I am loving the kernel system. I don’t read the back of a book, so I don’t want to know anything about a movie in advance. I’d love to read your thoughts afterwards. This way I know what to watch without all the gory details. Thanks!

  2. Hey Russell, now thats what I call witty and innovative. Love the concept of the Kernel system…what better way to judge films than with what goes best with it. It took me a moment to realise that it was pop corn in your title bar, but as soon as i did, it only made me smile. I knew I had stumbled onto some time nice. I am going to @ out your list and follow you as well…keep it posted with the best films, so that film uffs like dont have to look too far to get a film to watch!

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