Fast and Furious: A Pointless Review of a Criticproof Flick
Jordana Brewster: “Letty would tell you to walk away, before it’s too late.”
Vin Diesel: (turns stoically towards the camera) “It’s already too late.”
But you knew he was going to say that, didn’t you? In fact, you probably know everything about this film already. The cars, the mayhem, the women, the vengeance, the diabolical foreign villain, the “plot twists”… they’re all here. That is not necessarily a comment made to discredit the film– if not thought about, it’s like eating candy. You know that candy rots your brain, and that you should probably be eating something else. However, you know how it tastes, you like the taste, and besides, after a long hard day’s work, who wants to do any thinking? This movie breaks no new ground and delivers the same tricks any other Fast and Furious film would, but executes them well, and at the end of the day, you knew before reading this review if you would like a fourth Fast and Furious flick, so anything I say from here on out is moot.
In fact, I can’t think of much more to say. Paul Walker’s in the FBI looking for a drug runner who uses racers to get drugs across the border. Vin Diesel’s girlfriend is killed by these drug runners. They both infiltrate the operation, and begin to feel the same magical connection they did in the first film. Women hit on our heroes. There’s an insubordinate FBI agent who keeps stepping on Walker’s toes. There’s a sidekick to the villain who is extra-psychotic, played with great scenery-chewing gusto by Laz Alonso, who was so terrific in last year’s Miracle at St. Anna. There are lots of pretty cars, most of which explode. The races take place on the streets, and they follow a computerized GPS to their destination, making the film’s action feel even more like a video game than the previous three. Vin Diesel is appropriately gruff. Paul Walker is appropriately conflicted.
I’d actually like to see more Vin Diesel action flicks. He brings a kind of charismatic action-star intensity that not too many folks have. Also, it’s nice to see Paul Walker, a young actor I’ve always thought had some sort of potential to be a Keanu Reeves type– the understated thriller/action man who never sacrifices earnest intensity for opportunities to over-emote– settling back into this role like a pair of old comfy shoes. He’d be terrific in the sure-to-be-coming-soon remake of Point Break… are you listening, Hollywood? While this review may sound like a series of backhanded insults, I don’t intend it to be so. In fact, I’d think those who saw the trailer for FF4 and got excited would be reassured by a review like this. They don’t want Hamlet with cars– they want muscles, guns, hot chicks, and explosions. Don’t worry, my brothers. You’ll get what you want in spades.
The Password is Swordfish 